things that i think ( or for me ) is over/under rated.
relationship is overrated. love is overrated. friendship is overrated. tobacco is overrated. god is overrated.
money is underrated. knowledge is underrated. sadness is underrated. happiness is underrated. joy from sleeping is underrated. death is underrated.
im so irritated.
darwin
奇跡見えない。
Sunday, November 25, 2007
i remembered, it was something like....
love is about madness, but there are reasons in madness.
something like that.
people see love as love- pure love. but i just think that love comes as a package the good and bad. jealousy, hatred, expectations that comes with disappointments, so many of that.
i don't know why im writing like this but it just came to my mind 10 minutes ago when i was bathing.
---------
telling people your problem doesnt help, much. someone i knew kept everything to him/herself, i really kinda admire that person. i thought, its strong to keep it to yourself.
as time goes by, as i get more experiences i just feel that telling things to people doesnt solve anything. hearing advices, etc. afterall they can't help you, after a long period of time it would just be a hindrance. its the same, imagine someone tells you her or his problems, you would be glad to offer advices, help etc. but after time goes along, i bet you just wished for the person to shut his her mouth up because it will become so annoying to you.
i don't know why my english is so badly written here, somewhat like tyo's standard.
maybe its just because i just met him.
instant downgrade of english proficiency?
..
doesnt matter anyways.
people don't change, and i really want to change that.
motivation found, but reasons are just not sufficient to back the motivation.
but i will justify my own actions, and of course pay for the prices of my actions.
the world isnt that kind afterall, why bother being nice when you don't even know heaven or hell doesnt exist.
the only thing i want to do now,
is to
betray my own feelings. thats all i want to do now.
cause feelings lies, while facts dont.
darwin
奇跡見えない。
Saturday, November 24, 2007
afterall, in this world you can't have anything by yourself.
untrue feelings of betrayal, i guess how that guy in sf felt?
sometimes all you need is loyalty, instead the portrayal of faith.
well, every thing doesnt matter now.
i already changed my mind.
darwin
奇跡見えない。
Sunday, November 18, 2007
there is always the corner of the wall for me to hide.
there is always the bed for you to lie on.
there are always tissues to wipe your tears.
you can always buy your bestfriend for five dollars, from the supermarket.
things that don't speak, doesn't lie. doesn't betray you. perhaps the only thing that that you can rely on is them, cold blooded things that just doesnt speak.
昔の日々は過ぎ去ってしまい決して帰って来ない
でも、ぼくはだいじょうぶです。
あの時。。。。いいえ、 なんでもない。じぶんがんばるよ、ダーウイン。
darwin
奇跡見えない。
Saturday, November 17, 2007
funkalismo !
im all into depression again cause i'm bored and thats when all my mind just start wandering about all the so many funnythings in the world.
i just feel like venting on someone for no reason. im nuts
update about what i did today, the only thing i can remeber is that i cant find my credit card how abou tthat
darwin
奇跡見えない。
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
its amazing how people talk about love when they haven't love anyone ( not your family idiots )
its amazing too how people couldn't care about their surroundings, i don't doubt your ability that you don't care about how others think about you, but i don't doubt either that they don't give a shit about you.
its even more amazing how people can be just suchs jerks and bitches, its okay im used to it.
yeah, just bring it. bitches pretty bitches ( i don't really like to meet bastards, cause they aren't attarctive plus they have the same physical parts as me ) grannies fuckers etcs whatevershits. just bring it, i'll stamp your face with my ass and make sure you eat my shit. @#%@$#^@#^2
its possible that im sprouting nonsense due to post exam syndromes.
i sound like im hating people, but i don't even remember being angry at anyone other than myself for not being smart.
aaaaaah
im going econuts.
goodbye to people who are awake, hello to those who are asleep ! see you in lalaland.
darwin
奇跡見えない。
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
i look at myself in the mirror and i ask myself.
is this what you want to be like is this what you want people to see you as.
zzz
i already took extreme measures. now i just need the mind to go ahead and push it.
darwin
奇跡見えない。
Sunday, November 11, 2007
sorry, i won't lose.
i often forget few stuff that i remind myself.
1) kill the emotions 2) learn your lesson and kill your emotions 3) don't ask so many questions 4) don't be a busybody even if its in a nice way 5) how can you forget how important it is to win the race
im so sleepy now, this weekend was totally crazy. drives me nuts with all the things done.
wake up darwin, or rather i should just stay like this. how i miss the feeling of having the willpower to change, especially when you have a special reason to change. seems like my heart is made of sand, put your tears on it so i could mould it back to the shape of the heart.
what am i ramblin gat 6.27 am after so much intoxication.
sometimes i look at myself and wonder if i turned that bad, but when i look at others, i feel consoled. hahahaha i cant typee my grammer is all wrong cant think zzzzz life doesnt suck as badly as you think it is.
if you can there is a reason to be sad, there will be a reason to be hapy.
darwin
奇跡見えない。
Saturday, November 10, 2007
somethings that i thought about in the toilet just now.
they always say, guys are jerks. all they want is to have sex, then why do the girls give them the sex they need?! sometimes i wonder if girls are that dumb. and after they had sex, they just go round having sex since it doesnt matter how many times they have sex, virginity is gone anyway. conclusion is, its pretty dumb.
i was wondering maybe god shud give me a surepass test. for example, a test such as something that will make me lose something so valuable but in the process i will gain it back. okay not that im wishing for something like that happen, but i just feel like my character is rather weak, i dont know in what sense. im satisfied with life now, i wouldnt mind that life could be like this all the time. however, i just think that its impossible that things don't change.
what was the 3rd thing i thought about.
can't really remember.
darwin
奇跡見えない。
people who are living a life that is worse than me, sometimes they don't expect better life ahead of them, but to be satisfied with their current life. i wonder if thats true.
sometimes i wonder if we are god's toy. 19 years on earth, each year i grow up the emphasis on money and wealth is getting more and more, or more like its becoming more and more important. wouldnt it be nice if we were just to like say, forget about toyotas and mercedes, ucs or csu, tr or levis, ipod and cellphones and back to the days that where being able to eat and sleep is good enough? sometimes i dont understand why people would pay extra when you can get the same thing for a lower price because of a brand.
man. communism is not that bad afterall?
i dont understand why god created poverty, disparity and that everyone has a different life. if life was already fated to be in a certain way, than i would just sleep and wait for a miracle and happen. ( if miracles are even part of life ).
doesnt matter, right now its 3.53 am. nothing is more important than a HAPPY SLEEEP!
eat to feel happy, sleep to dream, just in time to wake up for a nightmare.
darwin
奇跡見えない。
Thursday, November 08, 2007
i doubt i need someone, i doubt i need anyone either.